2008 Final Thoughts

Farewell 2008!
I started to write a heartfelt post about what 2008 has meant to me and how it was truly one of the best years of my life...but I got a little lost in my own words for some reason. I am just not in a creative mood but feel like typing.
Being that it is December 31st at almost 8pm, I decided to just copy this from a friend (thanks Jess):

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Got pregnant, hiked in southern Costa Rica, took a 12 seater plane across Costa Rica, bought a new car.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I do not make resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
YES! Everyone. Anne Marie, Jody, Jaime, and a newer friend, Jessica.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, not close to me but I did attend two funerals.

5. What countries did you visit?
Costa Rica and the Bahamas

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
Confidence in my job/career path.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 9th- our courthouse "wedding day" and Dave Matthews.
August 9th- our actual wedding day...actually, the whole vacation will be etched in my mind forever.
September 16th- the day I found out I was pregnant.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Planning a destination wedding and learning how to handle certain conflict with family.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My workout schedule, post positive pregnancy test. Fail. Big fail.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Besides morning sickness, no.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Probably the trip to Costa Rica that Dustin and I bought collectively.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My husband's, for putting up with me through a lot of hormones and the way he handled a delicate situation.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I would like to vent and answer this honestly, but this is the interwebs and it can't be a safe thing to do.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Wedding trip, savings.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Costa Rica, as always, and getting pregnant...well, excited and scared shitless.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
"Steady As We Go" Dave Matthews

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? way fatter ;-)
c) richer or poorer? richer, actually

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Volunteer work.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Complain about issues that will never change.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With family and some friends, eating a lot.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes, with my unborn daughter.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Dancing With the Stars (don't laugh at me)

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. I don't hate anyone.

24. What was the best book you read?
I didn't actually finish a book this year, as sad as that is.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Pandora.com, thanks to my fifs. LOVE it.

26. What did you want and get?
The fact that my dog stayed healthy, despite his grim diagnosis. So far, so good.

27. What did you want and not get?
Nothing, really.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I don't think I saw any movie from this year! Oh wait! Juno!

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 32 and my mom just had a little dinner party for me. I had just found out that I was pregnant 4 days before that!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Staying in Costa Rica for about another month and seeing more of my friends and family.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
I don't even know what this means.

32. What kept you sane?
My husband, my friends and my parents.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
"Fancy"? Wow, that's a word that I don't use too often.
I always "fancy" looking at Matthew McConahay.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Probably the issue of gay marriage. I won't get into it but the fact that Amendment 2 was widely accepted in Florida severely disappointed me.


35. Who did you miss?
My grandma. Always. She has been gone for 6 years now and it still doesn't feel "normal" without her.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Well, I actually met her in 2007 but we became close friends in '08. Tiffany. I love her and her friendship has been priceless this year.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
To not have such high expectations for other people. They do not live in my world, they live in their own.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
It's more like the whole song, "Steady As We Go" by Dave Matthews. of course:

I'll walk halfway around the world
Just to sit down by your side
And I would do most anything, girl
To be the apple of your eye
Well troubles, they may come and go
But good times, they're the gold
And if the road gets rocky, girl
Just steady as we go

Any place you wanna go
Know I'll be next to you
If it's treasure, baby, you're looking for
I'll search the whole world through
I know troubles, they may come and go
But good times, they're the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl
Just steady as we go

When the storm comes down you shelter me
When I don't say a word and you know exactly what i mean
In the darkest times, oh, you shine on me
You set me free and keep me steady as we go

So if your heart wrings dry, my love
I will fill your cup
And if your load gets heavy, girl
I will lift you up
Well troubles, they may come and go
But good times be the gold
So if the road gets rocky, girl
Just steady as we go

The last week of 2008...

I cannot believe that Christmas has come and gone already. I have to admit that I'm actually excited for the holidays to be over this year. I love them and all but they're a lot of work and I'm just really excited to be closer to Lily's arrival (yes, that is still her name and yes, we decided to go with the traditional spelling).

Today begins the beginning of my 19th week of pregnancy. I'm almost half way there, which is so amazing and time seems to be going so fast. By the way, if anyone is doing the math, pregnancy is 40 weeks, which means 10 months, not 9. I don't know whoever said that pregnancy is 9 months and why we were misled for so long. It's 10. Stop the lying.

I'm feeling good. I get tired easily but other than that, nothing to complain about, for once! I am really liking this part of pregnancy and quickly forgetting about how miserable I was in the first trimester. My friends told me I would start to feel this way but I did not believe them until now.

I can feel her moving more and more everyday. The best way to explain it is that it feels like muscle twitches in my lower abdomen. I have only felt it on the outside a few times, which is so weird and great at the same time. My friend Tiffany was the first to feel her kick on Christmas night. Dustin hasn't even felt it yet!

Not a huge change from a week ago, size wise but I'm definitely showing now:

Our Christmas was very nice. Dustin and I did Christmas Eve dinner here for 14 of us. I was exhausted and I've decided that my mother made entertaining look way too easy throughout my life. I really don't enjoy being the hostess but it was still nice and Dustin did a lot of the cooking (surprise, surprise), which was great.
Christmas day we went over to the in-laws for lunch, opened gifts and then went to my parents for dinner, just the four of us and then went over to our friends house for dessert . It was all nice and quiet and relaxing.

As always, everyone was so generous, especially my husband. He is amazing. He painted me this picture for my office of one of our wedding photographs, where we're standing on Manuel Antonio beach in between two giant palms. He won't let me take a picture of the painting because it isn't done yet but it's gorgeous. Here is the photo he painted it from:

Here are some of my other favorite gifts:

Dustin had this made for me. It's a sapphire, which represents me, and two emeralds, one for him and one for Lily. Let's hope she doesn't stay in until June!


An Eco watch, also from Dustin.

My mom and dad made this memory box for me. They filled it will all of my childhood things, from birth until college. It was one of the coolest gifts I've ever received. There are old report cards, letters I wrote, craft projects I made, my baby book...just an overall great idea. My dad is working on a home video to go along with it.

It was a great Christmas, for sure. I booked another trip to Costa Rica for September, which was Dustin's big gift from me. He was so excited, he cried.

That's about it for this week. Bring it on 2009.

Sugar and spice and everything nice...

We'll see about that!

It's a girl!

This picture was taken from my detailed ultra sound, taken at the end of my 17th week. She is sucking on her thumb!

We're so excited! I knew it was a girl. I just had an instinct the whole time. Dustin is so excited to have a girl on the way, it makes me tear up to think about his reaction. I will spare you the rest of the ultra sound pictures. Most of them are very alien like and they even scare me.

Yes, we did find out the sex earlier than we expected to, but not without a little stress to go with the excitement. I'm going to tell this story more as a public service announcement, not as a "poor us, it was so stressful" story. I think pregnant women to be should know our experience. This is a long story so get a snack.

At my 12 week appointment, in the beginning of November, I was handed a lab form on our way out of the office by the nurse. Mind you, this was right after our first ultra sound and we were on cloud nine because everything was looking good. The nurse said to me, "Here, take this to your local lab between the dates of December 7th and the 17th. It's for genetic testing". Ok, I thought, this must be some routine test that everyone does. I never thought to question it due to the nurse's blase attitude and the mere fact that she said "take this". To me, that meant "do this". I will explain why I told this part of the story later.

As a quick side note, I have been very careful this whole pregnancy of not over researching. I have not dove into any books, googled anything at length or called my doctor more than once with questions. I just know for my own mental health that I need to keep the research to a minimum.

That being said, I went ahead, on the 8th of December, and took the lab form to complete the test, as instructed. A week went by and I did not hear anything from the doctor's office. I assumed that no news was good news but I still thought it to be very weird that they didn't call me either way. On the 16th of December, eight days after I took the test, I called to check on the results...

The nurse practitioner called me a couple hours later, about 2pm, as I'm walking into the mall with my mom to Christmas shop, to inform me that "there was a positive on your test. It was for Down's Syndrome".

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't walk. I couldn't talk. I had to sit down.

Now, she followed these statements up with "please do not worry. 98-99% of the time, these are false positives and there is absolutely nothing wrong with the baby". This did not make me feel any better for some reason. I was already in tears and immediately left the mall, as quickly as I had just walked in. I was directed by the nurse on the phone to come in at 11am the next day for an ultrasound to check for "markers" for Down's. I had so many questions, but I couldn't speak to ask them.

My only saving grace at that moment is an old high school friend of mine, Joni. Joni is two weeks ahead of me in pregnancy and we have been keeping in touch through Facebook. She JUST went through this same exact scare two weeks ago. I immediately thought of her because after her ultrasound, they said that her baby looked just fine. Although I hate that she went through all of that anxiety and worry, at that moment when I was talking to the nurse about my "positive test", I found comfort in Joni's story. That was the only thing that was giving me comfort.

As everyone can imagine, the rest of that day was filled with so many tears, fear, anxiety, stress, deep breathing, phone calls, emails...I was looking for any and all reassurance that this could turn out ok. I even started trying to find all of the wonderful things there would be about having a Down's baby. I logically knew that it was not the worst thing in the world, but at the same time I had an animalistic response to protect this baby and I so wanted it to be ok.

The next day, we had the hour long detailed ultra sound. They looked at every aspect of the baby, the heart, kidneys, bones, gallbladder, etc. It was amazing. She is gorgeous already. Bonus: she did not have one single marker for Down's Syndrome. Not even anything questionable. The genetic specialist that preformed the ultra sound reduced my risk significantly from 1/158 to 1/300. She has pretty great odds of being completely healthy. And by the way, the fact that the test was "positive" really just means that there is an increased risk just by the make up of my blood chemistry. The doctor said that I could do the same test again and it could come out completely normal. Ummm, ok? Why do the fucking thing then? Ugh.

After a lot of talking to friends and family, it became clear to me that the blood test I had taken was OPTIONAL. It was not mandatory and come to find out, a lot of women opt not to take it, due to 1.) most would not terminate the pregnancy and 2.) these false positives are out of control. Turns out that so many people I know had a false positive. I was so mad at myself for not researching this more. I wish I would have never taken that test. This baby would be perfect in our eyes no matter what. Why go through this worry??

Moral of the story: AFP genetic testing= bullshit. My two cents, do not take the fucking thing.

Last night, we celebrated our healthy little girl by going out on our first date since I've been pregnant. Yes, it has been 4.5 months since we've gone out on an actual date, sad I know. Here's pictures to prove it (the proof is in the fact that I do not have sweats on and Dustin is wearing a shirt):

Her name at the time of this blog entry:
Lilly Ocean Nichols

We love you already baby girl. Merry Christmas to us. You were the best Christmas present I've ever received.

17 Things About Me...

...that you might not care about learning but I'm going to tell you anyway. I was tagged by one of my freaky internet friends to do this, so I will. Talking about yourself is good for the soul...right?!

1.) I have a baby blanket that my grandma made for me when I was about two. I still sleep with it. I usually keep it in my pillowcase. There is basically nothing left to it and I cannot quite pinpoint why I cannot get rid of it but there is a large possibility that I will have it until it disintegrates. And no, I do not bring it with me when I travel and I can sleep just fine without it.

2.) When I was in high school, I was on a dance team called the Dazzlerettes. We were a small group of juniors and seniors that danced for community events like parades, festivals and charity events. I sucked terribly at dancing and I really never knew why I made the team but I had a blast doing it and I miss dancing like that.

3.) I have always had a passion for writing. Nothing in particular but I always had a knack for it and excelled at research papers, etc., in college. Sometimes I wish I would had pursued it as a career but then I remind myself that deadlines make me stress out so it would have not been a great option for me.

4.) My degree is actually in Social Work and I graduated when I was 21. I'm very proud of my college years, mainly because of my volunteer work. I volunteered an insane amount of hours to domestic violence shelters and the department of juvenile justice. I am not proud of abandoning the field but financially, it was impossible to stay.

5.) I worked at Hooters for two years in college and I am actually proud of that too, as self centered and shallow as that sounds. It was a really fun job and I met some great girls there. I was also friends with all of the guys in the band Creed because their girlfriends worked with me. That was my brush with fame and my "name drop".

6.) I had my first restaurant job when I was 12, washing dishes (by hand) one night a week at an Italian restaurant. That is when my love for restaurant work began and nine years later, I ended up waiting tables at that exact same location (under a different name), to compensate for my social worker salary.

7.) I am not a big fan of garlic. I find it too over powering.

8.) Before Dustin and I even started dating, I would walk by him at work (at that same restaurant mentioned above) just to try to smell him. I love his smell.

9.) Most people know this but for those who don't, I don't drink alcohol. I just don't like it. There isn't any bigger reason than that. I don't like the way it tastes. Not beer, not liquor, not wine. It's just not my thing. If I do have a drink, it has to be really sweet and I won't drink more than half of it. I have not been drunk since I was 15.

10.) I am an only child and even my extended family is very small. I am the youngest out of all of my first and second cousins. For these reasons (and more, obviously), I am very close with my parents.

11.) I love, love, love college football (primarily FSU, of course). I could sit on the couch all day on any given Saturday and watch games. I am into football WAY more than Dustin...but I hate watching NFL.

12.) I am abnormally disturbed by vomiting, whether it's myself, someone else or even on T.V. I have even had panic attacks if I see someone vomit, as if I am afraid that something terrible is going to happen to that person. I don't know where this fear orginated. I am extremely bothered by it and I don't know how I will deal with my sick child.

13.) I love the smell of coconut, pineapple, Christmas trees, coffee and eucalyptis. Not all together.

14.) I once "sprained" my ankle when I was a freshman in high school. I realllllly milked it because the guy I had a crush on had a broken leg and I wanted to be on crutches too so I could have something to talk to him about. I could have gone without the crutches.

15.) I'm a homebody. Although I like going out to be social, I love coming home, putting on sweats and curling up on the couch to watch a movie or screw around online.

16.) Although I love certain aspects of my job, I miss being a waitress. If someone told me I could make the same money as I do now waitressing or managing a small mom and pop restaurant, I would go back in a heartbeat.

17.) I hate going to the movies, cooking, getting gas, folding laundry, painting my toe nails, and yard work!

Ok, so that was technically more than 17 things. I got a little carried away. At least no one can say they don't know anything about me!

Ahhhhh, it's that time of year...

The end of the year always gets crazy, work wise, for me and this year is no exception. It's been pretty nice to be busy, especially since my energy level is better. I always like to be busy and have projects. I have a lot of work related challenges coming up and although I am a little nervous about all of it, I haven't been challenged in this job in quite some time. I think it will be a great thing. Let's put it this way, I will MAKE it a great thing. Please take note of my overly optimistic tone about my job. I've decided that in these uncertain economic times, one can never be too optimistic. My mantra is "be thankful you have a job".

I just came to the realization that it is almost the second week in December and I should really start Christmas shopping, so I did. I didn't get very far but I always like Christmas shopping. Shopping, in general, has always been therapeutic for me, even if I just go and spend $10. The biggest shopping related annoyance during this time of the year is the crabby people that seem to be on some miserable mission. You know the ones, with the scowls on their faces and they usually tend to leave their cart in the middle of the aisle so you can't get around them. Yep, a sign of the season, for sure. Their roboticism tends to bother me and I feel sorry for them. A friend of mine suggested to her husband that they go to their local mall on Christmas Eve and stop these crabby people to give them a hug and say "Merry Christmas". I thought it was a fantastic idea.

So, this week is my 16th week of pregnancy! We had our monthly check up on Thursday and everything was great. We got to listen to the baby's heart beat, which was 153bpm (or 'one fitty tree' , as Dr. Cohen says). I'm still measuring a week ahead of time and my belly proves it!

Now that I'm feeling better, my goal is to start some sort of exercise regimen again, even if it's just walking 3-4 times a week. I just feel like part of my lack of energy has to do with my low level of activity. We'll see how that goes, but that's the plan! We have our "big ultrasound" to find out the sex on January 7th. I'm guessing a girl for some reason.

Here is the belly picture for the week:

Bear always wants to know what's going on!

And for shits and giggles, here are a couple of Thanksgiving pictures:

Other than all of that, we'll be decorating our tree tomorrow, which is always fun for us...well, for me! I don't know why but every year when Dustin digs out the Christmas boxes and I start going through them , there are always things I forgot that we have and also things that I wonder why we have. Every year. It's only a year, not 5 years. Why is it always such a surprise?

Happy Thanksgiving...

Time is definitely flying by. It's the end of November already and my belly is getting huge! I'm 14 weeks already, and as shitty as I felt in the first trimester, it really did go by fast, thank God. The weather is perfect today, about 70 degrees, and we're going to my in-laws for dinner in a couple hours. I'm so excited to eat a lot of food!

Things I'm thankful for, from 2008:

• My husband.
• My belly and the flutters that are in it.
• My dog, and the fact that he is still healthy, despite what the German doctor said.
• My family.
• Two weeks in Costa Rica.
• My perfect wedding.
• My wedding photographer that took amazing pictures.
• The countless hours that my dad spent putting together a "wedding video", since we did not have one.
• My friends.
• My friends' babies.
• FIFs.
• Motherhood Maternity Secret Belly Pants.
• My new feather bed.
• My job, be it as it may.
• Pandora.com.
• Verizon Fios On Demand, for all of my nights on the couch during the first trimester.
• Lot's of cooler fall weather.

Lot's to be thankful for. I have a beautiful life.

Weekly belly pic (I spared you all the naked belly this week. You're welcome.) Oh, and I promise that eventually my face will be in some of these:

And, lastly, some pictures of the reef tank. A lot of you have been asking about it so here you go:

Bigger is better!

Well, it's not the best picture in the world but there it is...my bump. I think this is the first week that bloat is not effecting my belly at all, that's all baby (or uterus, if you will).
With this growth comes some pain, I'm not going to lie. I had a lot of round ligament pain for a couple of days last week. Friday it was constant. It isn't a horrible pain, just uncomfortable. Sleeping has become a bit of a challenge because of all of the pulling and stretching. I didn't think sleeping would be an issue so soon but hey, I didn't know anything else about pregnancy, apparently! Headaches have also been very prevalent this week. I think most of it is sinus related but pregnancy can also cause them. They aren't your normal, run of the mill headaches either. They are SERIOUS headaches. I have never had a migraine but I'm guessing these are pretty close.
None of the above matters though as long as this little one is healthy and thriving...and as long as I can enjoy Thanksgiving dinner! Next weekend, our project is to start organizing and moving things around to get ready for the nursery! We need to do a lot of condensing and throwing away...well, my husband does, not me. He keeps everything under the sun so this is going to be a challenge.
I went to my friend Susie's yesterday for a "Body Shop" party and spent way too much money on lotion, but that's not the point of the story. There were seven of us pregnants there, seven! We're all in different phases, which was very fun to talk about. It felt great to be around a group of women that were in the moment with me. We compared notes on our physical status, bitched and talked about how no one understands us right now. It was fantastic.
In other news...
Dustin is still working on the reef tank like it's his full time job. I would post pictures but we have an algae bloom and it isn't pretty. That's what he is currently working on fixing. We have three major tenants in there now: a tomato clown fish (a big "Nemo"), a six lined rass, and a royal gamma. We also have a bunch of starfish, snails and hermit crabs. I would have never guessed how fun they are to watch, to tell you the truth. I just didn't realize the amount of effort it takes to maintain this thing. Am I starting to get jealous of a fish tank??
I want to say congratulations to my friend Jessica and her husband Sal. Jessica gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Joseph Henry, early Sunday morning. He's gorgeous!

Nostalgia and Inspiration

With the holidays just a couple weeks away, all I can say is that I'm in the mood to shop. I might not have the energy for it, but I am in the mood. It's amazing to me how our society has put spending a shit ton of money together with the holidays. As much as it makes me a little sad that retail and Jesus Christ go hand in hand, I subscribe to it so I guess I'm part of the problem? Anyway, I'm glad my energy level will be increasing within the next couple of weeks so I can get some shopping done. I have to admit that I'm a little excited to buy some things for the baby too.

I cannot believe how fast 2008 has gone. In less than two months, we'll be in yet another new year. It's crazy to me. I can't help but be a little sad that 2008 is almost over. Maybe I'm just hormonal but looking back, it has been one of the best years of my 32 years. I married a wonderful man, I spent 2 beautiful weeks in Costa Rica with him and some of our friends and family, I made some amazing friends, both in real life and even online, and last but not least, it's also when I got pregnant. Truly amazing.

I've been too lazy to take a belly picture this week but I will get to it this weekend. I'm seeing and feeling some major changes. Staying true to last week, I'm feeling good some days and pretty gross on others. I see the light at the end of the nausea tunnel, I really do. I will not say it's over because I tend to jinx myself! This is the last week of the first trimester so for that, I'm forever blessed and thankful.

Speaking of which, I feel compelled to tell a story about an ever inspiring friend of mine. She is someone I don't know very well and to be honest, I haven't even met her in real life. I have been getting to know her, "virtually", for the past year and a half because we happened to have the same wedding month. I hope she doesn't mind that I'm typing this but like I said, she inspired me this week...

Her and I found out on the same day that we were pregnant. Her due date was to be just four days before mine. We texted and chatted about our pregnancy symptoms for weeks. Sadly, last week, just a day after my 11 week appointment, on the day of her doctor's appointment, she found out she lost the baby. It had stopped growing a few weeks back. I cried for her, my heart ached for her and I felt guilty that I have been successful thus far, and she was not. She isn't the first friend I've known to miscarry and unfortunately, she might not be the last but something just struck me about her.

What is outstanding about her story? Her. Her faith. Her attitude. Just her. Although she has some emotional healing to do, she is just such a positive force. She said, "this was God's plan". A friend of her's told her that "all the baby knew was her warm belly and God's paradise", and she held onto this. How beautiful is that? I have never been a religious person but I can say that this friend's faith restored some of my faith. For me, it opened my mind to the fact that we are not in control of very much in life and that someone else has a plan for us in some, or most, situations.
You would think that her situation would frighten me a little...but, no...it did the opposite. It let me let go a little and realize that it's ok. Whatever "it"is, it's ok. Thanks merv.

"See what a lil sex does??"

We had our 11 week appointment today! There are two docs in the practice and throughout the pregnancy, I will see both of them and one of them will definitely deliver the baby. This time, it was with Dr. Cohen. We love them both but this guy was awesome.

Dr. Cohen is a Jamaican man, which is important because you have to imagine the accent with everything he said, such as the title of this post! He said that right as he was finding the baby via ultrasound. Hi.larious. He is a great doc though with a fantastic sense of humor. He continually said, "stop movin baybah", so he could get some good pictures. He also said, "AYYY! There's the top of your uterus love!", as he pressed down on my belly. I giggled like a school girl the whole time. It was great!

Here are some snapshots:

It's ok if you're not sure what you're looking at. I really didn't either until the doc told us!

Both Dustin and I welled up with tears the minute we saw that baby jump around. It is truly real now and so amazing. The little heartbeat was 166 BPM! We heard it on the doppler which was crazy!

I'm feeling a little better this week. The fatique is still non-stop but the nausea seems to be waning a bit, thank the lord. My hair is dry, my gums bleed, my boobs are still sore and I don't fit into any clothes (don't get me started on maternity clothes!)...but I'll take all of that over the nausea any day!

Here is my weekly bellyshot:

Bear wanted in on the shot, I guess=)

Other than that, my husband is out in the Gulf of Mexico, as I type, getting his 100 gallons of salt water to fill the tank. We should have fish in there as early as next week. I'll post pics when it's finished!

Lastly, congrats to our country for making a great choice. I was going to post a whole thread about the election because I have some strong feelings towards what's going on right now, but I just don't have any more energy for it. All I'm going to say is that all of the far right conservatives that are acting like fools over this election...GET OVER IT! Obama is going to be your president too so I suggest you research all about him and stop believing vicious rumors.

Myself, I am ecstatic about this upcoming change for our country. I've never been so proud to be an American!

Bloat or Uterus?...You Decide.

I am now 9 weeks 4 days pregnant. I cannot help but be excited that I will be in double digits in three days. AND, only three more weeks until my second trimester. Well, three weeks and three days...but who's counting?

So, above you see my belly. What do you think, bloat or uterus? I have been bloated for weeks now but my belly is starting to feel different. Maybe a little harder? I don't know. I don't even know if it's at all possible that I'm starting to "show" yet. Eh, either way, it's kind of fun.

This week, I'm feeling a little better than last week. The nausea is still here but not quite as fierce as the last couple of weeks. I'm hardly ever hungry still and I'm eating a little less right now, mostly because I feel so sick after a "meal", so snacks are where its at for me right now. The fatigue is still pretty bad but that, I can handle. Please don't ask about my boobs.

The newest feeling is what I now know is "round ligament pain". Oh yes, yet another pregnancy plus! This is basically the ligaments surrounding my uterus, stretching and making room for the kid. It.hurts. It can be a sharp pain on either side of my lower abdomen or dull ache. Either way, it feels weird. However, it is just another one of those sweet reminders that the baby is thriving and doing well. Truth be told, I would rather feel all of these slight oddities rather than nothing at all. It's somewhat comforting in a way. I think that any previously pregnant woman would agree with me. Ask me in about 25 weeks how I feel about all of this though...

The baby has arms, hands and even fingers this week. The eyes are well developed and it's moving around a lot, as it's muscles are growing! It's the size of a "medium green olive", as I'm told. It's still unreal to me that this is going on inside of my body. It's like some weird science project to read about but truly, a miracle.

Although I've been very good about not buying anything (and I mean, I have not bought one thing, which is some sort of record for me) I began looking online for Florida State gear for the little one. I'm unbelievably excited about it. Weird, I know. I found all kinds of fun things that I will be buying within the next couple of months. I'm still making myself wait another month though. Self control. I has it.

Our next doctor's appointment is one week from Thursday and we're counting the minutes. I just want to hear the heartbeat, not just see it. That will give me a healthy dose of reality and definite reassurance that the little one is just fine. Plus, that means just a little over a months until we find out if it's a boy or a girl!

Oh, and, the Asheville cabin plans...scraped. Dustin made a good point to me that in February, its going to be pretty ugly up there, and possible rainy. That would make for a miserable me (and a bored husband). So, the new plan is to take a few days and explore more of Florida. Probably St. Augustine and Crystal River. We're going to do the Asheville thing in late October or early November of next year with the baby and maybe the families too. It will be a perfect first trip with the baby =)

Finding Nemo...

Last weekend I said that Dustin and my dad would be starting on the reef tank this week...well, its done! All we need are the fish!

I guess I should explain why this is a "project"...

For those of you that aren't aware (like I wasn't), reef tanks are A LOT of work. Tons of maintenance and preparation. I won't even begin to bore you with the details because not even I care, to be honest, but I should mention that the boys cut a hole into our house for this project, which is why this was such a process. In our living room, there is a huge wall that did have a beautiful painting, done by my husband, of where we got married. He decided about a year ago that he would rather have a reef tank there. Fine. Your project. Good luck.


Here it is in the works:

In our garage, cutting holes...

He is so excited about this...

Me being very skeptical about this...

Just watching...

aaaaand, done!

So, now we just need the fish, which is easier said than done. I guess we won't have them in there for about a month because of having to regulate the water or some craziness! Anyway, I'll post more pictures when there are some living things in there.

They did a great job and its going to look pretty cool. The baby will love it =)

I have a slight addiction to planning things.

Confession: I am a planning addict. I always have to be planning something, whether it be for me or someone else. When I grow up, I want to be an event planner. I'm just too chicken shit to take the risk of doing so.
The reason why this all occurred to me is because last night I was on an obsessive mission to plan a winter vacation.

I should back up a little though...
As soon as we returned from Costa Rica...no, strike that, before we even left for Costa Rica, I was planning our 2009 vacation. These were the ideas before we got pregnant:

• We were going to go to some new (to us) exotic country like Brazil or Bocas Del Tora in Panama.
• California and do a 10 day trip from San Fran to L.A.
• Back to Costa Rica for a week (which was not in consideration until after we returned from our August trip).
• Lake Tahoe with our friends Derek and Tiff.

As usual, I began going on tripadvisor.com almost everyday and researching all of the above mentioned possibilities. We were closest to being set with Lake Tahoe. Derek had a place for us to stay and I have never been on a "cold" vacation. Plus, the first two were way out of budget and we really should see some other places besides Costa Rica.

Then, we found out I'm pregnant. We immediately scratched the idea of traveling internationally. I'm just not comfortable doing so pregnant. I looked back into the California trip but still could not really come up with an affordable trip.

So, that left Tahoe. We would be going in January and to be honest, as much as I would LOVE to see Tahoe, I want to be able to try things like skiing and snowboarding while I'm there, which I wouldn't be able to do. Plus, I'm a big baby and the elevation is concerning me because of the pregnancy. (Go ahead, laugh).

Our new possiblity, on Dustin's suggestion: North Carolina, maybe the Asheville area. Someone suggested Maggie Valley. A cute little cabin with a fire place sounds perfect.
If you have other suggestions, let me know!

So this begins the research. We're looking to go In late February so I have some time!

Anyway, the weather here is so pretty today. Dry and breezy. Still hot but beautiful. It makes me very happy that I did not get pregnant in the dead of summer. Hormones make me crazy and hot anyway, I don't need the weather to do that!

I never thought I'd be a "blogger"...

As a matter of a fact, I just found out what a "blog" was not too long ago. I mean, I've heard the term a lot but I guess I never cared what it was. I will go ahead and credit my online "knottie" friends for gracing me with the knowledge of what a "blog" actually is. A lot of those girls have blogs so I decided to check them out. It's very voyeuristic in some ways. I feel like I'm being nosy, which I tend to be anyway, so it's fun for me!

So, despite the title of my blog (which was just a lack of creativity), I'm going to attempt to make this about more than just my pregnancy. My goal is to make it about our life in general. But who am I kidding? My whole life is about pregnancy right now, whether I want to admit it or not. It's very mind consuming. I will try, however, to add some general life info!

In a way, I view this whole blogging thing as narcissism. Its basically getting people in your life to read all about YOU, right? It's shallow and self serving, in my opinion. Well, yes, call it what you want but I am also using this to journal. I have always been a big fan of writing and journaling. It has always been a good outlet for me and I'll be honest, pregnancy has caused me to need an outlet, for the bad and the good. So now I can just type instead of getting a hand cramp, AND people who want to read about my life, can. So, enjoy....





I won't bore anyone with what has happened in last few months. I think everyone is familiar with the facts: we got married August 9th in Costa Rica, had the most AMAZING trip of our lives, we got back to Florida and, well...got pregnant!

We were so excited to find out the news. Neither Dustin or I thought it was possible that it could happen so fast! (Yes, I paid attention in sex ed class but let's face it, my eggs are getting a little, um, seasoned.) We just feel very blessed and terribly excited for this baby. I found out super early and we told everyone, even though that is supposed to be taboo, but, we didn't care. We were too excited not to tell. Dustin announced it at our Florida reception on September 27th, so those that didn't know before that, knew then!

I am now 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant. This is the way you gauge pregnancy when you're actually pregnant. Its not "I'm 2 months pregnant", its "I'm 8 weeks". I never understood why the weeks were so important before...now I DEFINITELY do. In my opinion, its all about milestones. At 7 weeks I had my first appointment and we saw the heartbeat via ultrasound (and I think its worth mentioning that I felt like Rachel from "Friends" when she couldn't see the baby on the ultrasound screen). 12 weeks means I'll be in the second trimester, or "out of the miscarrying woods", sort of speak. At 18 weeks, we can find out the sex (which we will). At 27 weeks I'll be in my third trimester and of course, at 40 weeks, I'll be having the baby. My estimated due date is May 28, 2009...which happens to be Dustin's birthday! Oh, and there are all kinds of tests, ultrasounds and appointments in between all of those weeks too! So much mom never told me...

I'm not going to sugar coat it, pregnancy is draining, scary, strange, wonderful, exciting, hopeful, weird, and amazing...all wrapped into one. The question of most days is, "How are you feeling???". The answer: "Like shit", most days. Here are the facts, from my perspective:

• The term "morning sickness" is bullshit. I'm nauseated every.single.day.all.day.long.
  
• I eat every two hours, even in the middle of the night.
• Nothing ever looks or sounds good to me. Food television commercials are the devil.
• The world smells way worse than I ever thought.
• I'm so bloated that I already look 7 months pregnant. Hardly any of my clothes fit me anymore.
• My boobs are absolutely enormous and they hurt like hell (sorry if I'm making anyone uncomfortable).
• I could stay on the couch and nap all day (and night) long.
• I am very emotional.

Everyone keeps saying, "It will get so much better. One day you will wake up and feel GREAT!". Ok. Get me there now, please. I pray that I get mommy Alzheimers so I will have another child. At this point, I don't know how anyone goes through this more than once. Hey, I said I wasn't going to sugar coat. All of my friends have been amazingly wonderful and are probably so sick of hearing me bitch. Jaime, Annie, Jody, Shannon....thank you for reassuring me that this is all worth it. I look at all of your kids and think to myself, "how can this NOT be worth it?".

I know, I know, I'm making it sound horrible. It isn't. It's the furthest thing from horrible. It is truly amazing. Especially when I see what's happening inside of my body.

This is an image inside the womb at 8 weeks:



It's the size of a raspberry! How crazy is that??

Here is what I look like on the outside:



This is what I signed up for: sacrificing my body (temporarily) for this baby. More importantly, our whole lives are changing and its going to be the best adventure we've even been on. Parenthood is just around the corner! Holy shit, that's scary!

The last thing I'm going to talk about regarding pregnany in this entry is my amazing husband. Obviously, God knew that I needed a patient, sweet, energetic, loving, understanding man in my life. That is exactly what I have. He has been running to the store for me, anytime I want anything, he has watched me cry for no reason at all and been very supportive, he has cooked all of his own meals since I cannot stomach it, and he has sacrificed his own social life since I never have the energy to go out at night. Amazing. He'll never know how much I appreciate him. I recommend that every woman marries someone like Dustin.

Needless to say, married life is great so far! We've done some house projects and are planning a small vacation for late winter or early spring. Dustin's next project is a salt water reef tank in our living room. He's been working on it and researching for MONTHS. It will soon become a reality. Probably within the next week or so.

So, there it is. My first blog entry. I apologize if I suck at this. I'm sure I'll get better. Please check back often...or don't and just tell me you do to boost my ego =)