Nostalgia and Inspiration

With the holidays just a couple weeks away, all I can say is that I'm in the mood to shop. I might not have the energy for it, but I am in the mood. It's amazing to me how our society has put spending a shit ton of money together with the holidays. As much as it makes me a little sad that retail and Jesus Christ go hand in hand, I subscribe to it so I guess I'm part of the problem? Anyway, I'm glad my energy level will be increasing within the next couple of weeks so I can get some shopping done. I have to admit that I'm a little excited to buy some things for the baby too.

I cannot believe how fast 2008 has gone. In less than two months, we'll be in yet another new year. It's crazy to me. I can't help but be a little sad that 2008 is almost over. Maybe I'm just hormonal but looking back, it has been one of the best years of my 32 years. I married a wonderful man, I spent 2 beautiful weeks in Costa Rica with him and some of our friends and family, I made some amazing friends, both in real life and even online, and last but not least, it's also when I got pregnant. Truly amazing.

I've been too lazy to take a belly picture this week but I will get to it this weekend. I'm seeing and feeling some major changes. Staying true to last week, I'm feeling good some days and pretty gross on others. I see the light at the end of the nausea tunnel, I really do. I will not say it's over because I tend to jinx myself! This is the last week of the first trimester so for that, I'm forever blessed and thankful.

Speaking of which, I feel compelled to tell a story about an ever inspiring friend of mine. She is someone I don't know very well and to be honest, I haven't even met her in real life. I have been getting to know her, "virtually", for the past year and a half because we happened to have the same wedding month. I hope she doesn't mind that I'm typing this but like I said, she inspired me this week...

Her and I found out on the same day that we were pregnant. Her due date was to be just four days before mine. We texted and chatted about our pregnancy symptoms for weeks. Sadly, last week, just a day after my 11 week appointment, on the day of her doctor's appointment, she found out she lost the baby. It had stopped growing a few weeks back. I cried for her, my heart ached for her and I felt guilty that I have been successful thus far, and she was not. She isn't the first friend I've known to miscarry and unfortunately, she might not be the last but something just struck me about her.

What is outstanding about her story? Her. Her faith. Her attitude. Just her. Although she has some emotional healing to do, she is just such a positive force. She said, "this was God's plan". A friend of her's told her that "all the baby knew was her warm belly and God's paradise", and she held onto this. How beautiful is that? I have never been a religious person but I can say that this friend's faith restored some of my faith. For me, it opened my mind to the fact that we are not in control of very much in life and that someone else has a plan for us in some, or most, situations.
You would think that her situation would frighten me a little...but, no...it did the opposite. It let me let go a little and realize that it's ok. Whatever "it"is, it's ok. Thanks merv.