I don't know this person but I just spent over an hour reading her blog. The story she posted about the birth of her youngest daughter was just inspiring and beautiful. I hung on every word and cried throughout, some tears cried out of the beauty of the way she writes and some of actual content of her post....but mostly because that could have been us, that could be anyone...but it was her.
My heart aches and smiles, both at the same time, for this woman that I do not know. Actually, I read the story three times because of it's unique beauty and each time I found something new to smile or cry about.
This woman has no idea how she just impacted my life. This is the passage that hit home with me:
When Lainey was in the hospital with jaundice, I remember hugging Brett and crying. I told him if God would make her better, I'd do anything. I'd live in a box, I'd sell everything we had, I'd be happy with nothing...just make her better. When she did get better, that feeling of raw gratitude was real, but it wasn't long before real life set in and I was complaning once again about the dirty grout in our cheap tile and how much I wanted wood floors.
I've often thought about how quickly that feeling left because we have a perfect, healthy little girl running around that erases all the painful memories of when we thought something might be seriously wrong.
I felt that feeling again last week. And as the pain has slowly disipated, I've realized...I will always be reminded. My Nella, my special little bunny, my beautiful perfect yet unique girl will be my constant reminder in life. That it's not about wood floors. No, life is about love and truly experiencing the beauty we are meant to know.
We all take things for granted every.single.day. Today is the day that I realized how much I have taken for granted since the day Lily was born... all because I read that blog post from someone that I do not, and will not ever, know.
I have a healthy baby, which sounds so simple, but it is indeed a miracle. I have kissed Lily more today than I have since the week she was born.
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about the day that I spoke to the nurse at my OB's office who said, "You have a positive for Down's Syndrome on your genetic test" (if you want the full story, read here). Not because it was so traumatizing but because it was the day that I knew exactly how to love unconditionally, without hesitation and without even meeting this person living inside of me.
Although I now understand just how grossly inaccurate those genetic tests are, that will forever be a defining moment in my life and I will be forever grateful that God had that lesson for me. No, I am not a religious person, per se, but spirituality will find it's way into your soul when you have a child.