Happy Birthday Dustin!

Happy birthday to my wonderful husband!

Thank you for being a perfect husband, and more importantly, a perfect father. A lot has happened in the past year and I feel closer to you everyday. You're amazing. I love you with all my heart...and so does Lily and Bear.

Dear Lily,

Today, May 27th, was supposed to be your due date so I thought this would be a good day to write to you about your arrival. You graced us with your presence 12 days early, which will forever be the best day of my life. I won't recount the whole experience because when you read this when you're older, I don't want to bore you but hopefully you'll appreciate learning some about what we went through together...

Your daddy and I went to the doctor for my weekly appointment. I was 38 weeks, 2 days into pregnancy. After some routine exams, the doctor thought it would be best that we went to the hospital to evaluate whether or not it was time for you to make your debut. Sure enough, it was time.

During laboring, your daddy, grandma, grandpa and even auntie Tiffany watched a lot of T.V. Oddly enough, every show we watched had to do with pregnancy or babies: Friends, King of Queens, I Love Lucy, The Cosby Show and even Jimmy Fallon's talk show! It all seemed to fit the mood. We joked about a lot of things and your nurses were all wonderful.

At some point, the T.V. went off and daddy's iPod was turned on, packed with all of mommy's favorite music, mostly from our wedding day. The room was dimly lit and comforting. I wasn't scared or nervous, just excited and anxious to meet you.

Your daddy, your grandma, your nurse Leslie and Dr. Cohen were the only ones in the room when it was almost time. So much at this point is a blur for me but I remember the music playing, a Bob Marley song to be specific, and I remember the look on your daddy's face when Dr. Cohen said it was time. It was full of emotion, but none that compared to when you were placed on my chest, when you were introduced into this big world. The happiness and joy I felt to see you and look at your big, wondering eyes and then looking at your daddy to confirm what we created...nothing will ever compare to that moment.

At 7lbs 2oz, 20.5 inches long, you were just perfect. You didn't scream or even cry when you arrived. You were content and just checking everything out in your new world. I must have asked the nurses 20 times if you were ok. From the instant you were born, that was all I cared about and probably always will. You were "perfect" according to everyone in that room. Most agree that you have most of your daddy's facial features and my body type. Your hair is the prettiest shade of strawberry blond and your eyes are blue for now. So perfect.

For the next three days, we started to get to know you in the hospital. From the very beginning, you were a good baby. You didn't fuss much and you slept like a rock. The nurses were impressed by you and adored your beauty. Daddy did most of the work while we were there because mommy wasn't feeling well, which seemed like the best bonding experience for you two. He was so in love with you from the very first moment he laid eyes on you Lily. He is truly the best dad.

You settled into being home very nicely. Daddy and I still cannot get over how much you love your sleep! You have been so gracious to let us get some rest.
You have had many, many visitors and admirers. People brought flowers, food, gifts and love. You are truly a blessed little girl with all the family and support that surrounds you.

As I sit here now and watch you nap in your swing, which has quickly become your favorite place other than someone's arms, I am amazed by you. You are already getting so big. You are so alert and love to listen to all kinds of different sounds. You focus on voices, especially those that you know best. You make the cutest, funniest faces that I have ever seen. I cannot stop kissing and smelling your head. You are already daddy's girl in every sense of the word. Your big "brother", Bear, is also in awe of you and has taken a protective role. He watches over you carefully and always will for the rest of his life.

You are the greatest gift I have ever received. You have given me a whole new meaning to life and a new respect to all mothers, especially your grandma. I have now experienced a new level of worry and love. Nothing compares to the feeling of being a new mom, nothing. As overwhelming and intimidating as this all is right now, it all makes sense and fulfills me.

Although I do miss you rolling around in my belly and having you all to myself, I am so excited to watch you grow and learn. As you go into your second week of life, know that we have so much love for you. We're ready to embark on your life journey with you and be the best parents we can possible be.
We love you Miss Lily Ocean!

Love,
Your Mommy and Daddy

Introducing to you...

Lily Ocean Nichols
May 15th, 2009
4:45am
7lbs. 2oz.
20.5 inches

It's so hard to believe she is here. I'm still in awe over her and the whole experience of giving birth. She was born 13 days early due to some issues that pregnancy brought on for me that started wreaking havoc on my body, but she is healthy and that's all that I care about.

The picture above was taken a couple hours after she was born. She doesn't even look like that anymore and its only 9 days later! Dustin and I don't want her to get big. She is just perfect the way she is, small and innocent. She is truly amazing. A gift that I cannot even wrap my mind around.

I am working on a "Dear Lily" letter to tell her how I feel but it's so hard to write the perfect words when everything is so new. I am truly overwhelmed with emotions. Once I get it together, I'll post it. I want to share this happiness with everyone.

I never thought I could love someone so much and be brought to a whole new level of worry! Honestly, they should send every set of new parents home with a doctor for at least the first month. Truth be told, we already went in for an emergency evaluation because of my first mommy freak out. Of course, she's fine but like I said, it's a whole new level of worry!

I'll post more details and pictures soon. She is sleeping right now so I think that means I need some sleep too!

Welcome to this big world Lily Ocean. Mommy and daddy love you more than you'll ever know!

Finding my Zen

I haven't posted in awhile because I realized that all I do is bitch lately!

I'm working on finding my zen these last few weeks of pregnancy. Positives mantras are constantly in the dialogue of my mind. No, this part of pregnancy is not easy but I am definitely loving these last few weeks of just Dustin and I. It's weird to think that it will never just be the two of us again. It's such a mix of emotions at this point!

One of my friends recently read my blog and said that it was scaring her out of ever getting pregnant. I do feel bad for that. I don't mean for it all to sound negative, I really don't. It IS amazing, trust me. Every movement that Lily makes confirms that this is all worth it.

However, on the flip side, there are a lot of things that definitely suck about pregnancy and I'm not one to keep quiet about them. Call me a complainer, if you'd like. I'd rather look at it as just plain honesty. I have yet to meet a pregnant woman that LOOOOOOVES pregnancy. Don't confuse that with a mom who THINKS that she loved pregnancy. She just doesn't remember!

So, here I am, almost 37 weeks. This translates into....FULL TERM! She's cooked and ready. Now she just needs to cooperate.

Physically, I'm hanging in there. I was diagnosed with carpal tunnel in both of my arms, resulting from fluid retention around my wrists and nerves. This hurts like a bitch, I'm not going to lie. My swelling is increasing little by little. My doc suggested I cute back on my salt intake...sure. My contractions are starting to get more and more uncomfortable, which would be great, if they meant something! Some days I don't mind the discomforts at all, others, I could potentially hurt someone because I am so crabby.
I'm still up and around, working and trying to stay as active as possible. I try to take a walk every night and Dustin and I have been going to the beach every weekend. I cannot wait to bring Lily down there!

Speaking of the beach, this was from today, 36 weeks, 5 days down!

And Dustin thought this would be funny. I agree only because it is SO far fetched, pregnant or not...

5lbs 8oz....Already!

Growth ultrasound picture taken today. Yes, I know the picture is crooked. I'm lazy. I don't feel like editing it. This was the only decent picture that we got out of 10. I liked this one because she was sucking her thumb!

That's right, my kid is big. Not out of control big, but big. 5lbs 8oz at 34 weeks, 3 days. She will be gaining about an ounce a day from here on out and I have 42 days left until my estimated due date. If you do the math, that's a little over 8lbs if I go to the full 40 weeks. Again, not a monster but scary enough for me...especially when the ultrasound tech said, "Wow, she has a nice size head!". Wow. Thanks. My birth canal thanks you too.

All good news today though. Still no markers for Down's Syndrome (see post from December about that scare, in case you missed it), all her organs look great, heartbeat is great, fluid is perfect...like I said, all good news! There is apparently no threat of preterm labor either, according to the ultrasound, so these annoying contractions are just part of pregnancy for me. My doctor suggested on Friday, at my follow up appointment from the preterm labor scare, that I still take it easy since the contractions are clearly related to my activity level. No problem. I don't feel like doing much these days anyway!

Here's how I'm looking these days....

As far as how I'm feeling...well...hmmm...

Positives:

• I love to feel Lily move.
• I'm getting really close to meeting Lily, which is so exciting to me, obviously.
• I don't have any stretch marks yet.
• I am not on bedrest.

Negatives:

• I'm swollen.
• I'm huge (for my normal self).
  
• I'm crabby.
• My hips hurt.
• I can't sleep well.
• I'm tired.
• My feet hurt.
• I'm hungry all.of.the.time...but get nauseated after most meals.
• I pee every 20 minutes.
• Nothing fits me.
• I'm crabby.
• I'm crabby.
• I want to kill anyone that says anything about my weight.

Yep, this part of pregnancy is not the prettiest. All of my mommy friends warned me about this stage and here it is. I can see why some women do not want to work up until their due date. It's enough work just growing the kid and carrying it around at this point! Honestly, I know I have very little to complain about...but I do it anyway.

Here is some nursery pictures. We're considering it done now. I love it! Dustin did an amazing job on the painting and embellishments. He copied her bedding for the lady bugs and butterflies.

And here is another homemade gift from my friend Erin. She made these adorable frames for all of her current pregnant friends. Too cute.

Check out my friend Nicolasa's new blog:
http://naivehappiness.blogspot.com
She decided to do an uplifting blog with just pictures of happy things, submitted by whoever. Book mark it. It will make you smile, for sure.

Happy 60th Dad!

60???

I cannot believe my father is 60! That seems impossible to me. He does not look a day over 45 and probably never will in my eyes.

This is going to be a good year for you, I just know it! The house is sold, you're healthy, you're going to be a grandpa...and you're going to quit smoking! Ok, so I added the last one but I can hope!

You've always been my hero and just because you're old won't change that =) You're an amazing dad and will be an amazing grandpa to Lily. Thanks for all you do!

Happy Birthday! I love you!

A "tour" of Labor & Delivery??

Yesterday was quite an interesting day. One that I would rather not repeat but I'm glad I listened to my instincts...

Going back a little, Dustin and I were signed up to take a "Prepared Delivery" class, beginning this coming week. (This is supposedly the new term for Lamaze classes, with a tour of labor and delivery, etc). After thinking a lot about it and talking to Dustin, we decided to cancel the class. The bottom line, I just don't want to know. I have always been the type of person that is better off just doing things, rather than knowing everything there is to know about it first.

For example, if I buy something that has to be assembled, I will not read the instructions, I will try my best to figure it out. There is just too much information in those damn instruction booklets...kind of like how I felt these labor classes might be, too much information to freak us out.

That all being said, I had to register for my epidural, something this hospital requires. I cannot have an epidural without being preregistered. We decided to do the tour of labor and delivery with the epidural registration, which was just an hour of literally touring the unit where Lily will be born. Very simple, informative and not too in depth. We did this yesterday at 10:30am.

After the tour, I had some medical questions about some symptoms I had been experiencing for a couple of days. I had been experiencing some pressure and pelvic bone pain, almost to the point where walking was difficult. I assumed it was the baby "dropping" but it just felt weird to me. Although I had just had a doctor's appointment on Thursday, (which was also a bit stressful. I'll get to that in a minute), these symptoms seemed to pop up Friday and Saturday.

There wasn't really anyone available to ask during or after the tour so I just gave my doctor's emergency line a call. I really wasn't at all worried. Like I said, I expected him to say that the baby had dropped and that was it but I wanted to be sure.

Nope. He said, "At 33 weeks, we are not expecting symptoms like this yet. Go to triage in labor & delivery". Ummmm, ooook??!!

Very calmly, I turned the car around and went back to the hospital. I called Dustin to tell him, since he was on his way to work at that point. I also called my mom to give her the head's up. I really don't know what all of this meant, but I really wasn't afraid of anything.

To try to shorten this, I spent 5 hours on a stretcher in labor and delivery for preterm contractions, mostly caused by what I now know is a bladder infection (very common in pregnancy). I did not have any typical symptoms of a bladder infection at all, so I was pretty surprised.

They had to give me two shots and a pill to stop the contractions and an IV drip of antibiotics to shock my system. Thankfully, the baby is safe and sound. No dilation, no effacement, thank God. It's just a good thing I didn't ignore this because it could have actually caused me to go into full blown labor or a kidney infection which could be very bad for the baby.

Mom ended up leaving work to come and sit with me, which I needed. Dustin really couldn't get out of work and I was not liking being alone. We definitely figured out that I SUCK as a patient. I am way too much like my dad and have no tolerance for sitting around, unable to function. The shots themselves were horrible. They made my heart race and I was shaking really bad. Poor little Lily's heart rate also increased, of course. I know it could have been a lot worse but I'm going to go ahead and feel sorry for myself...it sucked.

I have a follow up appointment this Thursday to check on how everything is after all of that. I'm supposed to "modify my activity" until then, which is fine with me. I'm tired.

At my 32 week appointment last week, I was actually measuring 35 weeks! Nothing to worry about, but my doctor ordered an ultrasound to see how big the baby is. Measuring that far ahead either means a.) she is a big baby or b.) I'm retaining fluid. Either way, she may come a little earlier than expected! The stressful part of the appointment was when the doctor couldn't find the baby's heart beat! Turned out that the doppler monitor wasn't working and she was just fine. Needless to say though, I had a really hard time focusing after that scare.

Christ on a bicycle, pregnancy is so stressful. I guess it won't get any less stressful once she's here so I better get used to this, huh?