"It takes a village...

...to raise a child".

No, I'm not endorsing Hillary Clinton's book from the 90's. I never even read it or gave it a second thought... but I will say that I definitely believe in the proverb. I'm not even talking about "a village" in the sense of an actual community, but rather in the sense of family, and extended family.

My mom loves this proverb and has quoted it since the day Lily was born. Call me spoiled but I have a lot of help with raising Lily- my husband, my family and my friends. Many women don't even get a third of the help that I do. I'll admit it, I accept all of the help I can get. As amazing as being a parent is, having a baby isn't easy and it isn't all rainbows and puppy dogs. I would certainly not be a mentally sound person without the help I have.

"The Happiest Baby on the Block" is a book I picked up on the recommendation of several of my mom friends. It mostly discusses how to calm a fussy baby and I would thumb through it when Lily was having a bad day. It has some great information, even though it is written by a man (no offense to men, but come on, men don't always nurture babies the way women do). Anyway, towards the back of the book it has the "Top Ten Survival Tips for Parents of New Babies".

Number 3 struck me, when I was flipping through it months ago:

"Accept Help"
"Never in history were a mother and a father expected to care for their baby all by themselves. The idea of a nuclear family- one mother and one father to do it all- is one of mankind's most recent, and riskiest, experiments, attempted only over the last two or three generations. (That's a mere sixty years out of 60,000 years since the modern human era began.) In the past, a couple's family and community always pitched in to help, and later the couple would return the favor."

(It then goes on a bit to talk about not feeling guilty when asking for/accepting help, etc., Which, in my opinion, is so difficult to do. Guilt has been an innate part of our culture in terms of asking for help. Even if we ask our own husbands to change a diaper or do a feeding, we, as mothers, tend to feel a twinge of guilt. I solely blame modern day American society for this.)

Without getting too philosophical, the reason why I bring this up is this: I want to talk about my village. I thought it would be a good idea to individually name and discuss all of my support system, especially those pertaining to Lily, and the role that they play. I know this may be risky, since I don't want to exclude anyone and hurt anyone's feelings, but it's something I want to do as a tribute.

With the holidays here, I thought this would be a great time to do this. I will do a couple posts a week until Christmas and name a member (or members) of my "village", in no particular order of importance, obviously. (For those of you that blog and want to play along and talk about your village, feel free. I love to read about other peoples families and support).

Today: My friend Jessica.
Jessica is one of my FIFs (see this post for an explanation) and lives in California. She got married in August '08, like I did, and has a one year old named Joey. I cannot say enough about this woman.

Being that Joey is only 6 months older than Lily, I go to Jessica for every.single.question that I have and have done so since day one of Lily's life. Not only since Lily was born, but all throughout pregnancy too. She went through everything that I/we did, just 6 months ahead of me. From formula switching, to reflux, to sleep issues, to tummy time, to puree feeding...then to more personal things such as arguments with my husband, to body changes...I have asked Jessica for her input every step of the way. She also happens to understand what it's like to have an opposite schedule as your husband, and that single parent feeling it brings to the mix, which can be very difficult.

She always happily answers my questions, listens, and offers support. She saved me at least 20 phone calls to my pediatrician's office, and makes me feel less crazy when I'm having a bad day. She is truly an amazing woman with a heart of gold. She also happens to be a great role model as a mother. She has a laid back attitude and puts emphasis on the appropriate issues, in regards to being a parent.

Thanks for being you Jess and helping me through this new, crazy mommy life. I honestly could not have made it this far without your help.