Sunday, January 4, 2009

Dear Lily,

I'm sure you know this by now but your mom likes to write. I have been writing in a pregnancy journal, as well as doing this blog, in hopes that someday you will enjoy reading these things and enjoy laughing at me. Writing is how I have always expressed my feelings, so, this is the only way I know how to express how I feel about you, while you're still growing inside of me.

The reason why I'm writing this in letter form to you was actually a suggestion of my pregnancy journal. It suggested that I tell you how I feel about you now and mys hope for your future. I thought it was a great idea.

The first thing I want you to know about is the love that created you. Not all children enjoy hearing about their parents' love story so I won't say too much. Just know this, I was excited about you since the moment I looked into your dad's eyes. It took us almost six years to decide we were ready for you but we always knew that we wanted and needed you in our lives. Your dad is such an amazing person and I knew that having his child would be the greatest gift of my life.

I feel so many things as I carry you, it's truly such an amazing experience. I feel blessed, elated, anxious, worried, happy, and special. I am already a changed woman for carrying you for the past 20 weeks and I imagine you will continue to change me in so many ways from here on out. Pregnancy is a fragile state, as your grandma describes it, and I feel like I am a part of some elite club for being able to have you inside of me. I hope you will chose to experience all of this when you find someone you love enough to share this with.

I hope you have your dad's eyes, his smile, his laugh, his athletic ability, his calm demeanor and his book smarts. I know he will take good care of you, always, and you will be "daddy's girl". I hope that you love surfing as much as he does so you will have that to share with him. If not surfing, I know he will support whatever it is that you do love, just like he does with me.

I hope you have my organization skills, business sense, communication skills, and my good heart. I hope to be a strong female role model for you so you can be assertive and a good judge of character. I hope we can bond through a mutual love of something, such as, yoga, the outdoors, traveling, writing, dog loving, or possibly just communicating effectively.

I hope, as parents, we will influence you to be non-judgmental, honest, assertive, confident, street smart, expressive, independent, active and so much more. We will instill strong family values in you and hope you will always find comfort in us. We will always try to guide you down the right path and empower you to make good choices. Know that we won't always make the right decisions as parents, but we will be learning through you, so go easy on us.

My purpose in life now is to ensure your health and happiness. That is all I want for you throughout your whole life. Grow strong in my womb so you can grow strong thereafter. We love you already and will love you unconditionally your whole life. Thank you for growing inside of me and being whoever you are going to be.

Life as we know it will never be the same after your arrival and we can't wait to introduce you to our world.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy



20 weeks.

5 comments:

Jessica said...

This gives me goosebumps, Vanessa. You are going to be such a good mommy - Lily is lucky to have you.

And, as always, I so want to rub your beautiful baby belly.

Christy said...

What a beautiful journal entry and what a beautiful belly!

Steenie said...

awww. i got tears in my eye reading that. your daughter is going to love listening to you tell her stories and reading about how much you love her.

Anonymous said...

Hang on... I've got something in my eye...

This is so beautiful, Vanessa!!

Anonymous said...

Awwwwwww! Very beautiful. I can't wait to do something like this for my own.