How did I get here?

I rarely post about my career. I hear the horror stories about people who make a blog post or Facebook status posts about their jobs and get canned the next day because it was deemed inappropriate.

Well, I'm taking a chance here because it is such a huge part of my life and I have been feeling a bit...overwhelmed, with a bit of elation mixed in, with my job responsibilities lately.

I believe I've mentioned before that I am a regional sales manager for a medical device company. (My true title is "Vice President of Sales Operations", but that's a tad bit inflated since there isn't really a President of my company. My boss that deemed me VP likes to use big words.). Let me make it clear that I truly love my job and this post is not to complain. It's to muddle through my honest confusion as to how I got here.

Much like my car history, as well as my house history, I was a job gypsy. I had two long standing jobs before my current job: Target from '92-'96 (my high school and early college job) and Luna Pizza (my post college "what the fuck was I thinking getting a Bachelor's degree in Social Work" job) from '99-'03 and then again from mid '04-'06. In between these jobs, and even during my Luna's years, I did a million other things from owning a pet sitting company, to substitute teaching, to beer and liquor promotions, to even waiting on tables at Hooters...I was a jack of many trades. I would love to say that I was experimenting to truly see what I wanted to do as a career, but that would be bullshit. The fact of the matter is that I always got bored. I always needed a new challenge, and if it wasn't challenging enough, I moved on.

In late '05, I found sales in the most peculiar way. Medical sales, to be specific, and how I found it was by hurting my knee, getting fit for a knee brace by my now boss, and being being offered a job out of the blue. In the right place at the right time, I suppose. Usually this makes outsiders get all wide eyed with envy when they find out what I do and say something along the lines of, "OMG!! HOW did you get in that business?? Did you know someone?? That's GREAT money!! Are you hiring?".

Yes, it's a great job and it can be great money but let me bust up the myth: It's stressful and it's HARD work to make good money. You have to pay your dues. I'll be honest, my first couple of paychecks were not more than a few hundred dollars each, and we only got paid once a month. It was a struggle. It's definitely not a cake job like the stigma suggests.

Now that I made my little public service annoucement, I'll attempt to get to my point.

Last week, I had to go to Miami to work on closing a huge account within a big hospital system in that area. I have never worked with a big hospital system. Or CEOs of any kind. Or directors of every hospital department. It was a bit intimidating, to say the least.

My first day down there I had a meeting with my manager, my representative from that area and about 11 hospital executives. My heart was pounding when I walked into that little conference room. I could feel a tiny panic attack brewing. I felt out of my league. I felt unqualified. I felt inadequate. The only thought running through my head was, "how did I get here??".

But then, somewhere in that 60 minutes, I felt....confidence. I felt empowered. I felt...proud of myself. Actually, I felt proud of every woman at that table. There were only 3 men at that table of execs and 8 women. That felt amazing. We run our households, have babies, take care of our husbands...and we run companies. We're all executives, of sorts, at this table. I am in upper management of a medical device company. Holy shit. Albeit only a year and 2 months into management, I earned this. I must be doing something right.

And then I thought back to 8 years ago when I was waiting on tables and struggling to make ends meet. If someone would have asked me where I saw myself in 8 years, I could have never imagined this would be the answer. This was never my life long dream or even something I truly was aspiring for. I never longed for that "career woman" life. I was always pretty ok with mediocrity in my job, as long as I made decent money and was somewhat happy.

Yes, this job originally fell into my lap, but you know what? I worked my ass off for where I am. That's how I got here. I may still be learning management and evolving within my career, but I'm here and I deserve it.

If it sounds like I'm tooting my own horn, that's ok with me.

Now ask me if I said one single word in that meeting of 11 execs. The answer is no, I let my boss do it. Hey, I just learned how to be proud of myself. I'm still working on this confidence building thing.