3 Christmases.

At 7 months, 2009...

At a year and a half, 2010...

At two and a half, 2011...

We had another beautiful Christmas filled with food, family, friends, and more presents than necessary. Lily really started to grasp the concept this year. She understood who Santa is and that he was going to leave presents. She LOVED the whole idea of opening presents, of course, but she also loved the fact that we all got to open presents. She would deliver a present to one of us and say something like, "And one for you, mom!! OPEN IT!!!".

It was so much fun and I can honestly say that Christmas is magical now. She is the only child that we've ever had in our family, so I've never experienced the holidays through the eyes of a little one. It's amazing.
I don't use this word often but I feel very blessed to have Lily and just to have this life in general. Lily continues to teach me so much and make my life...well...magical.

Christmas is in less than 6 days? Oh really?

You would think with all of this spare time I have that I would make some blog posts. Pfffftttttttt.

I don't have much spare time. And when I do, I'm sleeping. I miss spare time.

I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. I love being busy, but I do wish I just had a couple extra hours in the day. Since my kid goes to bed at 9-9:30 every night, as opposed to the old 7-7:30, I usually go right to bed, too. Man, life is so different with a child. I still can't get over that sometimes.

Thanksgiving came and went like a blur. We had a great dinner at my in-law's house. No commotion, no tantrums, no drama, just dinner. It was lovely.

We then attempted our own photo shoot, after a Black Friday JCPenney Studio photo fail. Ok, maybe it wasn't a complete fail since we rendered this beauty out of the deal:

She has quite the personality. She did this unprompted just to be cute.
Aaaaand since that's the only picture worth anything out of that deal, we decided to take Lily to this field near our house:

And take these pictures that my friend Jessie edited:

Then, the next weekend was our Ugly Christmas Sweater party. 1st annual. It was fun and I think might become a tradition!

Finally, this past weekend, we were a part of our friends', Danny and Kendra's, wedding. Danny was a high school friend of Dustin's, a surfing buddy, and Kendra and I became really close over these past couple of years. They came to our Costa Rica wedding and we just fell in love with them as a couple. We knew this day would come for them. It was a great beach wedding, on a perfect day, with a fun reception to follow. Could not have asked for a better day...

Which brings us to this week- Christmas week- with all of the hustle and bustle that comes along with it. Work is super crazy busy, still have a present or two to buy, all the gifts have to be wrapped, and Christmas Eve dinner menu has to be figured out. I love the overall feeling of these last few days before Christmas every year. There is a certain energy that is just...fun.

I promise that one of these posts will have more substance than just boring updates that can be seen on Facebook. I really would love to get back to actually writing posts with some thought behind them. Perhaps a New Year's resolution....among others.

Opposite Life

A conversation between my husband and I last week:

Me: So, this might sound weird but do you ever imagine what your life would be like if it were the exact opposite of what it is now?
Him: :::Weird side eye look in my direction:::
Me: Like, for you, it would be having a suit and tie job on Wall Street, living in New York City, single, no kids, going out every night...you know, opposite of what it is now.
Him: Well, the Wall Street thing would suck but the rest sounds AWESOME!

I wasn't quite expecting that kind of honesty from him, but I had to laugh because, well, it does kind of sound awesome.

That conversation was inspired by an episode of Sex and the City that I had watched the night before. In that particular episode, Carrie was dating a guy named Aiden and she found an engagement ring in his bag, obviously meant for her. Her reaction was visceral, vomiting at the mere thought of her life going down that opposite path of what she was used to. It almost made me feel as though I was missing something important by not truly ever living the single, big city lifestyle. Is getting married and living a suburbia lifestyle really vomit inducing to big city girls??

Whenever I watch a movie or television show with Carrie Bradshaw-type characters, I imagine I am that person and try to imagine what my life would be like as a city girl. It would be the complete opposite of the life I'm living. My little "escape my life" fantasy is this: I imagine myself as a writer for a column in a magazine, living and working in downtown Chicago or New York, calling home a small, but very well decorated, apartment with windows overlooking the skyline, having a small group of girlfriends, all single as well, going out for martinis often, shopping at only the high end stores, and giving looks of pity to women pushing baby strollers.

Glamours, isn't it??
Sure, but how does this story end, I always wonder? Do I become an old dog lady? The eccentric one who travels to exotic locations with friends, or alone, who practices yoga every day, who dies all alone because she was too selfish to get married and have kids? My mind takes me to some weird thoughts, doesn't it?

I believe it's human nature to have curiosities about things we don't have. Not necessarily things we want, but just things we don't have. As a comparison, how many times have you wished you were wealthy? If you're like me, probably many. We assume life would be easier, more fulfilling, because we have money, which probably is far from the truth but it's nice to fantasize about.

Is there a true moral to this post? No. This is just me sharing my randomness.
And no, I don't want a different life, nor would I trade my life for Carrie Bradshaw's. She ends up getting married, ruining the whole fantasy anyway.

Three Halloweens.

At five months old...

At 17 months old...

And at 29 months old...

My, how time flies.
We had so much fun trick-or-treating. Lily really understood it and got into it, running from house to house saying, "Can we do another one, mom???". She pooped out after about 15 houses, which is when I chauffeured her around in this:

{Pictured with Ty the chicken}

I'm not sure who had more fun, Lily or me, but I can tell you it was the best Halloween yet!

Uninspired.

I have either been really uninspired by my life lately or I am exceptionally boring. Maybe both, I'm not sure. It's unlike me not to write for 5 weeks. I can say that it hasn't been for a lack of excitement or eventfulness because that wouldn't be true.  There has been plenty keeping me busy and on my toes. Some of which is work related, which I unfortunately cannot discuss, but the rest is simply just having a 2.5 year old keeping me busy.


Today I was inspired because it's Halloween! I love fall and I love Halloween. It's especially fun now that Lily understands the concept of trick-or-treating and can go out tonight and get me some candy!

And from our pumpkin carving party....

And from school this morning...

Next up, trick-or-treating!

35 years.

Today, I am 35. No, I'm not looking for "happy birthday"s.
This has been a hard number for me, in some ways. Yes, I had a beautiful day because I have beautiful people that surround me, but, the only phrase that has been running through my mind all day long has been:
Life.is.crazy.
It just goes by so fast.

I'm 35. 35. 35!!! Think back to high school. Think about when you were 15 and you met someone who was 35. Shit, your MOM could have been 35 when you were 15!! 35 sounded old. Realistically, I know I'm not old, 70 is old, but man, life has really flown by.

All day today I have been trying to think of my birthdays past. What did I do for my 5th birthday? My 15th? My 25th? Honestly, I really could not remember many. I hope this is normal.

I remember a few. Of course, I remember the previous few years, Probably 29 through today, but aside from my 21st, I had a really difficult time remembering. So, tonight, I decided to hunt for old birthday pictures, after putting Lily down for the night.

This was easier said than done.

Thank God for the digital age because I really sucked at keeping pictures of milestones when pictures were only on paper. I have plenty of pictures of Bear, other people's birthdays, proms, college parties, etc., but my birthdays? Not many. Which is funny because I love pictures. I can sit and look at them for hours. Pictures are what make me remember. I can't believe I didn't keep many from my own birthdays!

The only one I came across from my early teenage years was....

14.

Yes, 1990 brought 1990's bangs. After stumbling across this picture, I remember this night. I had about ten friends for a sleepover. We all didn't have matching shirts but Jaime was my best friend, still is, thankfully, and we NEEDED to match. Do you see the collection of Baby Sitter's Club books on my shelf? Classic.

And then the next...

18.

Jaime and I clearly got over our matching phase but Jesus, why did I straighten my hair...chemically?? Someone should have stopped me. You can't see it in this picture but it turned green and it wasn't even straight, really. Awful. 

Again, this picture jogged my memory a bit. A different ten friends, aside from Jaime, Tatum, and Gina, gathered at our local (and new!) Chili's. I'm sure the remainder of the night had something to do with a dance club. I can't be sure though.

I also had pictures from my 19th and 20th, which also included Jaime. I love how pictures tell a story and sometimes reveal who is important in life.

Anyway.

Then...

21.

(This was taken at AJ's Sports Bar in Tallahassee with my friend Jody. I met her about 9 months before this picture was taken. We bonded instantly. We're still very close. I am so lucky to have long standing friendships. Priceless.)

Sigh. 21. I lived in Tallahassee, attended FSU, worked at Hooters, and lived a fantastically fun life. Not that I don't now, but lets face it, I was 21. Life was easy.

I was thrown into the Wescott fountain, like all 21 year olds who attend FSU. I don't even know who these guys are but 1.) they were fun and 2.) They saw my panties. Good times.

My parents took Jody and I to Vegas for my 21st. Oh.My.God. Vegas. We had such a blast. We met Jamie Foxx (circa In Living Color) and Charles Barkley, at the same club. I also think what's-his-face from that band Sugar Ray was there, too. He's a gossip T.V. host now. Gah, what's his name??
Anyway, I DO remember my 21st like it was yesterday.
Next...

24.

Pictured with my grandma. I was in a completely different life by the time I was 24. It's so funny how quickly I wanted to grow up back then. These stumbled upon pictures during these mid-twenties years scream "FIND YOURSELF AND DO IT QUICKLY BECAUSE YOU'RE KIND OF FUCKING UP!". I now know that's what you're supposed to do in your 20's: fuck up. How else would I have learned?

There were others from my 25th, my 29th and then....

30.

Pictured with Jody. This seems like just a couple of months ago. I cannot believe five years has gone by. 30 was not difficult for me. I was still basking in the "my boyfriend is eight years younger than me and people think we're the same age" phase.

And today...

35.

A little more tired looking, perhaps some darker circles under my eyes, a few more wrinkles...but then there's Lily. This innocent little being who is just beginning her journey. She only has had two birthdays (well documented and photographed, I might add). I only have celebrated three birthdays as a mama. She began such a huge new chapter in my life. She makes me proud to be 35 simply because I am her mama.

And, cheers to my mama, on this day. 35 years ago, she gave me life and began her journey as a mama. I cannot imagine how I will feel when my baby turns 35!

It's been an amazing 35 years. Here's to at least 35 more.

Foggy.

There is something about vacation that completely warps my mind upon returning. I stay in the dream-like cloud for DAYS, as though I am in denial about living in reality. I begin to obsess about how much I do, in fact, despise my job (even though I really don't on most days) and that everything about where we live is stale and boring.

I suppose this is a sign of a good vacation.

And it truly was a great vacation.

We went to Playa Grande, Costa Rica, a new location for us, and then back to Volcano Arenal, where we got engaged in 2007. We brought our friends Kim and Robbie this time, a part of our huge group that went last year. I believe they love Costa Rica just as much as Dustin and I do, so it was an awesome traveling foursome.
We didn't have much of an agenda. We went to the beach, the pool, the hot springs, ate a lot, hiked, and just overall relaxed. It was an amazing, baby-free, beautiful vacation. (That's right. I said baby-free. Judge away. It was amazing and marriage needs attention, yo.)

I've already looked up ticket prices to go back in a couple of months. Sure, that's a pipe dream because we really can't afford to go away again, but it's fun to pretend. We will, however, be planning next year's trip very soon because we are that obsessed.

Gracias por otro buen viaje, Costa Rica. Nos vemos el ano que viene!
Pura Vida.

Reminders.

I have been rifling through our wedding photos within the last couple of days, feeling very nostalgic.

There is just so much raw emotion behind these pictures. Everything about our wedding trip was just amazing.

Dustin and I chose a destination wedding for some unconventional reasons. Some choose it to have a vacation for friends and family, or maybe to avoid inviting 300 (eventually drunk) guests to the same local venue that four of your other friends got married, but for us, it was much more.

We felt a connection with Costa Rica. We found so much of ourselves in that country. We got engaged there. We had a spiritual connection with it. It certainly wasn't just about getting married on a beach. We could have done that here since we live in paradise. No. We wanted our friends and families to experience the connection that Dustin and I found there.

I'm not quite sure if we succeeded in doing exactly that for all 18 in attendance, but I know for some of our guests, something magical was found since one couple got engaged there two years later (love you, Danny and Kendra!) and another married in the exact same spot three years later (which, sadly, we were not invited to.  Don't ask).

Kudos to us for passing on the magic.

But, in August of 2008, these were our memories that we were creating.

Oh, yes. It was fun. The memories will certainly last a lifetime.

Thank you, friends and family, for making this trip so priceless.

Looking at these these past few days has been such a good reminder of who Dustin and I are as a couple. Where we've come from, what we've been through, and what we've created since our union. Our life is truly blessed and rich.

Happy 3 years, babe.