Three Halloweens.

At five months old...

At 17 months old...

And at 29 months old...

My, how time flies.
We had so much fun trick-or-treating. Lily really understood it and got into it, running from house to house saying, "Can we do another one, mom???". She pooped out after about 15 houses, which is when I chauffeured her around in this:

{Pictured with Ty the chicken}

I'm not sure who had more fun, Lily or me, but I can tell you it was the best Halloween yet!

Uninspired.

I have either been really uninspired by my life lately or I am exceptionally boring. Maybe both, I'm not sure. It's unlike me not to write for 5 weeks. I can say that it hasn't been for a lack of excitement or eventfulness because that wouldn't be true.  There has been plenty keeping me busy and on my toes. Some of which is work related, which I unfortunately cannot discuss, but the rest is simply just having a 2.5 year old keeping me busy.


Today I was inspired because it's Halloween! I love fall and I love Halloween. It's especially fun now that Lily understands the concept of trick-or-treating and can go out tonight and get me some candy!

And from our pumpkin carving party....

And from school this morning...

Next up, trick-or-treating!

35 years.

Today, I am 35. No, I'm not looking for "happy birthday"s.
This has been a hard number for me, in some ways. Yes, I had a beautiful day because I have beautiful people that surround me, but, the only phrase that has been running through my mind all day long has been:
Life.is.crazy.
It just goes by so fast.

I'm 35. 35. 35!!! Think back to high school. Think about when you were 15 and you met someone who was 35. Shit, your MOM could have been 35 when you were 15!! 35 sounded old. Realistically, I know I'm not old, 70 is old, but man, life has really flown by.

All day today I have been trying to think of my birthdays past. What did I do for my 5th birthday? My 15th? My 25th? Honestly, I really could not remember many. I hope this is normal.

I remember a few. Of course, I remember the previous few years, Probably 29 through today, but aside from my 21st, I had a really difficult time remembering. So, tonight, I decided to hunt for old birthday pictures, after putting Lily down for the night.

This was easier said than done.

Thank God for the digital age because I really sucked at keeping pictures of milestones when pictures were only on paper. I have plenty of pictures of Bear, other people's birthdays, proms, college parties, etc., but my birthdays? Not many. Which is funny because I love pictures. I can sit and look at them for hours. Pictures are what make me remember. I can't believe I didn't keep many from my own birthdays!

The only one I came across from my early teenage years was....

14.

Yes, 1990 brought 1990's bangs. After stumbling across this picture, I remember this night. I had about ten friends for a sleepover. We all didn't have matching shirts but Jaime was my best friend, still is, thankfully, and we NEEDED to match. Do you see the collection of Baby Sitter's Club books on my shelf? Classic.

And then the next...

18.

Jaime and I clearly got over our matching phase but Jesus, why did I straighten my hair...chemically?? Someone should have stopped me. You can't see it in this picture but it turned green and it wasn't even straight, really. Awful. 

Again, this picture jogged my memory a bit. A different ten friends, aside from Jaime, Tatum, and Gina, gathered at our local (and new!) Chili's. I'm sure the remainder of the night had something to do with a dance club. I can't be sure though.

I also had pictures from my 19th and 20th, which also included Jaime. I love how pictures tell a story and sometimes reveal who is important in life.

Anyway.

Then...

21.

(This was taken at AJ's Sports Bar in Tallahassee with my friend Jody. I met her about 9 months before this picture was taken. We bonded instantly. We're still very close. I am so lucky to have long standing friendships. Priceless.)

Sigh. 21. I lived in Tallahassee, attended FSU, worked at Hooters, and lived a fantastically fun life. Not that I don't now, but lets face it, I was 21. Life was easy.

I was thrown into the Wescott fountain, like all 21 year olds who attend FSU. I don't even know who these guys are but 1.) they were fun and 2.) They saw my panties. Good times.

My parents took Jody and I to Vegas for my 21st. Oh.My.God. Vegas. We had such a blast. We met Jamie Foxx (circa In Living Color) and Charles Barkley, at the same club. I also think what's-his-face from that band Sugar Ray was there, too. He's a gossip T.V. host now. Gah, what's his name??
Anyway, I DO remember my 21st like it was yesterday.
Next...

24.

Pictured with my grandma. I was in a completely different life by the time I was 24. It's so funny how quickly I wanted to grow up back then. These stumbled upon pictures during these mid-twenties years scream "FIND YOURSELF AND DO IT QUICKLY BECAUSE YOU'RE KIND OF FUCKING UP!". I now know that's what you're supposed to do in your 20's: fuck up. How else would I have learned?

There were others from my 25th, my 29th and then....

30.

Pictured with Jody. This seems like just a couple of months ago. I cannot believe five years has gone by. 30 was not difficult for me. I was still basking in the "my boyfriend is eight years younger than me and people think we're the same age" phase.

And today...

35.

A little more tired looking, perhaps some darker circles under my eyes, a few more wrinkles...but then there's Lily. This innocent little being who is just beginning her journey. She only has had two birthdays (well documented and photographed, I might add). I only have celebrated three birthdays as a mama. She began such a huge new chapter in my life. She makes me proud to be 35 simply because I am her mama.

And, cheers to my mama, on this day. 35 years ago, she gave me life and began her journey as a mama. I cannot imagine how I will feel when my baby turns 35!

It's been an amazing 35 years. Here's to at least 35 more.

Foggy.

There is something about vacation that completely warps my mind upon returning. I stay in the dream-like cloud for DAYS, as though I am in denial about living in reality. I begin to obsess about how much I do, in fact, despise my job (even though I really don't on most days) and that everything about where we live is stale and boring.

I suppose this is a sign of a good vacation.

And it truly was a great vacation.

We went to Playa Grande, Costa Rica, a new location for us, and then back to Volcano Arenal, where we got engaged in 2007. We brought our friends Kim and Robbie this time, a part of our huge group that went last year. I believe they love Costa Rica just as much as Dustin and I do, so it was an awesome traveling foursome.
We didn't have much of an agenda. We went to the beach, the pool, the hot springs, ate a lot, hiked, and just overall relaxed. It was an amazing, baby-free, beautiful vacation. (That's right. I said baby-free. Judge away. It was amazing and marriage needs attention, yo.)

I've already looked up ticket prices to go back in a couple of months. Sure, that's a pipe dream because we really can't afford to go away again, but it's fun to pretend. We will, however, be planning next year's trip very soon because we are that obsessed.

Gracias por otro buen viaje, Costa Rica. Nos vemos el ano que viene!
Pura Vida.

Reminders.

I have been rifling through our wedding photos within the last couple of days, feeling very nostalgic.

There is just so much raw emotion behind these pictures. Everything about our wedding trip was just amazing.

Dustin and I chose a destination wedding for some unconventional reasons. Some choose it to have a vacation for friends and family, or maybe to avoid inviting 300 (eventually drunk) guests to the same local venue that four of your other friends got married, but for us, it was much more.

We felt a connection with Costa Rica. We found so much of ourselves in that country. We got engaged there. We had a spiritual connection with it. It certainly wasn't just about getting married on a beach. We could have done that here since we live in paradise. No. We wanted our friends and families to experience the connection that Dustin and I found there.

I'm not quite sure if we succeeded in doing exactly that for all 18 in attendance, but I know for some of our guests, something magical was found since one couple got engaged there two years later (love you, Danny and Kendra!) and another married in the exact same spot three years later (which, sadly, we were not invited to.  Don't ask).

Kudos to us for passing on the magic.

But, in August of 2008, these were our memories that we were creating.

Oh, yes. It was fun. The memories will certainly last a lifetime.

Thank you, friends and family, for making this trip so priceless.

Looking at these these past few days has been such a good reminder of who Dustin and I are as a couple. Where we've come from, what we've been through, and what we've created since our union. Our life is truly blessed and rich.

Happy 3 years, babe.

Randomness.

I haven't done this in awhile....
- I'm so tired tonight that I'm already laying in bed. It's 7:37pm. Lame.
- Life has been a crazy roller coaster of emotions lately. Nothing and everything has been status quo.
- We leave for Costa Rica in 2 weeks, 3 days and 14 hours. But who's counting?
- I need shorts and tank tops.
- I am more and more thankful everyday for my friends. They are truly gems. Today, I got to briefly catch up with one of my good friends, on a phone chat, who always just "gets" me, (:::ahem, Jody:::). Then last night, a good friend of mine and I went on a long walk on Siesta Key beach, one of the most amazing beaches in the world, and then to dinner. 3 hours with her was better than some previously paid for therapy. I feel so lucky to not only have these two women in my life but also a few more, who all are just irreplaceable.
- I still miss Bear every single day, especially at night when I put Lily to bed. That was my time with him and it still doesn't feel right without him here.
- My life is going to change drastically within the next couple of months when it comes to my career. I'm terrified, exhilarated, cautious, and curious, all at the same time.
-Lily has been excruciatingly difficult, yet amazingly fun, lately. More on my other blog soon about this.
- Why do I never print out recent pictures? They aren't any good on my hard drive.
- Speaking of, I've hardly taken any pictures at all this summer. I don't know why.
- I'm writing this on Dustin's laptop and it's about to go dead.
- I'm too lazy to go get the cord to plug it in.
- Goodnight.

Three years.

Dustin and I got hitched at the court house three years ago today. A strategic move to save us some money since getting "legally" married in Costa Rica would have cost us a fortune AND it wouldn't have been filed here in the states for months after.

So, these were our court house wedding pictures:

I'm not quite sure why we were flipping the camera the bird in that last picture but it's very much like us to do that so, whatever.
And then, for our "reception", we went to the Dave Mathew's concert:

Great memories.
It's hard to believe that there was life before Lily, but there was and we had some amazing memories. Three years has gone by SO fast, it's unbelievable.
Happy day, my love.